Have you ever had one of those days where lots of weird stuff happens to you? Not that weird, but definitely not normal parts of your usual routine. Today...I felt off-balanced all day. It all started with me getting to work early enough to get coffee and finding the barnes and nobles closed. I mean, I get it...bookestore, store hours yeah...Its obvious now, but it sucked at 7:30 am. I got my coffee, but not until 9 am. I was terrible for an hour. So I go inside and I remember new guy started today. New Guy is nice, I guess, but he is a total sales guy. He has a cheesy super salesy way about him, a handshake that hurts my hand, and he keeps winking at me like I'm supposed to get whatever joke he is telling. BETH!!!!!!!(reminder- I used the word Beth interchangeably with the word vomit, see Rachel's bio for more info) At my 9 am meeting, no one else from my team was on time except new guy, so I had to speak for the team. I had absolutely nothing to say. So I rush through my part and introduced new guy. Later in the day I find out the way Introduced him, implied her was my team's admin asst. He isnt. He is my partner, my sales partner. I felt like a jerk...but on the other hand, what bitch tells me I did that? in the bathroom? I was like. Oh, oops. My bad. WHATEVER WHATEVER.

I also may have contributed to the termination of someone's employment. I mean. It's not my fault, my bosses, bosses boss called me directly. What was I supposed to say right? I mean, I told the truth. If anything, I downplayed it!!! I found out later in the day he was fired. Fuck. Oh well, I didn't tell him to mention his slobbery alcoholic ex-wife in front our client, while flirting with the same client. Creepy. So I decide I'm going to Beccas to hang out, maybe have a little pizza. We go to Whole Foods. I see a dude from a previous job who calls me Sarah. I was like, "Rachel." He apologized and I made some off-beat joke about Jewish names and were all the same. Meanwhile, I'm all pizza-ed so I'm sure I'm talking gibberish. Positive actually. Then comes the line. Oh my god. 40 minutes fucking, forty minutes. I'm not even kidding. Why...How can it take 40 minutes to buy 21.58 worth of vegetables and olives. Becca had some lovers behind her, and by lovers I'm referring to the countless amounts of lovey-dovey-kiss-in-public-speak baby-talk- in-line-at-whole-foods-lovers, that are taking over DC this summer. Now I could write an entire blog about the loverly lovers that are all over this city, shit I could write one about the lovers at Becca's building alone, but that's an entry in it's own, plus, the best and weirdest part of the day is yet to come.

So Becca is literally telling me how male lover in line was cawing like a dove to his female lover. BETH, right? wo are these couple? Anyways, were talking about how they must be virginia or jersey or some cross-breed of the two, when an old lady in a black straw hat and a long ass gray french braid chimes in about VA and how its like from the 40s. (yeah we didnt get it either) Anyways, were thinking this sweet old lady wants to chat. we find she is from texas and visiting. She is sweet ans she talks like our friend "little super," who is from WV. Her answer, with the most serious voice is, "to impeach bush. No Im serious, to impeach bush." We giggle in the most uncomfortable way possible. She then proceeds to ask us 2 scary questions...first, how she can find some insdie way to the secret service, do we know anyone and do we know the Bush girls or where they hang out. UM. WHAT THE FUCK. who says that! I can't help but laugh. she can not be serious. So Becca and I, quickly (say 7 minutes in) end our conversation by wishing her luck and speeding up our walking...to which she yells, "Don't worry girls, I wont follow you!" UM WHAT. Who SAYS that. So we got away, made some dinner and called a night. a weird weird weird night. And that was the end of the night of weirdness. Alhough there was a weird bizzaro of our friend Otter on the bus. I got on and was like Hey, thinking it was our friend, and he looked confused. kind fo embarassing. Perfect end to a weird weird day.